Closer
by aubreyonpaper
Summary: Beyond the knowledge of the real world lies a shut away society much deeper than what we know. Ava Penner has been living the simple life, all until Taegan came along. Now, not everything is as simple as it seems. read the inside


**disclaimer; **now i know what you're thinking. what the hell does this have to do with twilight?  
well, this is something that i've concocted inspired by mrs. meyer herself =D it's not bad, i swear.  
hopefully, you guys like it, please review, it makes me happy =D

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Have you ever had one of those extremely awkward feelings in the deepest pit of your stomach that something you were about to do wasn't the best idea on the planet? Like something about the set-up was just plain fishy?

Well then you and I could relate.

Just a couple of months ago I was living pretty as a normal teenage girl enjoying her senior year with her boyfriend and her best friend, and without an idea of the real world around me. I was able to walk the streets like everything I'd ever feared was simply make-believe, and non-existant; a figment of my dreams and imagination. I was a naive little girl.

Needless to say, I know better now. I've matured so to say; morphed. Thanks to him -er, actually them. All of them; they'd become a small family to me over time. The tragic events that make up the past couple of months serve as something I am oddly grateful for. After hearing of them, you would probably think I was crazy, that I'd lost all my sense and values in my mind, but you don't know. It's opened my eyes for me to see the world just for what it is.

A jungle.

It's filled with all different kinds of animals with different persona, and heights on the ladder of life. They all act different and sometimes those personas collide, and there's no saying things will be peaceful.

_We live in a world at war._

It can be seen through the news, music, movies, or if you look hard enough, through your very eyes. I guess I could say I was grateful for everything he'd taught me. I wish I could go back, and have learned it earlier, maybe things could've turned out different.

The various trees of the back road breezed past us in the car time seemed to be moving faster even as I'd yelled at it in my head to slow down. Everything had gone by so fast, I'd missed it all. Physically and emotionally.

I'd missed the hugs, the outings, everything. My breath staggered in my throat as my eyes began to burn. I didn't want to cry, I wanted to keep it held in for his sake. He'd been through enough, I didn't want to let it out because doing that would grant my eyes permission to leak for as long as they could.

I breathed in deep, closing my eyes for a moment as my hands rested in my lap over my black dress. The material was smooth like that skin, and it was soothing to me, but it only made me want to cry more.

"Hey," his nervous voice caught my attention like one of those sick dog whistles, and snapped me from my thoughts. His eyes met mine deeply, and he gave a me a warming smile as if to tell me that everything was okay, and that it was all going to be alright. That warm hand reached over, and grabbed my smaller-made one, clasping it in his. As if the warmth from his smile wasn't enough the warmth from his hand colliding with my nervousness was enough to make me break a sweat.

I didn't want warmth right now, I'd had enough of it. I'd wanted the cold, to be embraced by the cold winter air outiside and let it chill over my bones.

_Maybe a little frostbite would do me good_.

As his hand fit in perfect harmony within mine, and thanks to that, my urge to bawl only crept up on me more. Sustaining the tears caused me pain, it hurt my stomach, which clenched as the heat only engulfed me more. After everything we've been through, not everything was perfect yet.

But with all the growing I've done, I'd still have to realize that it wasn't never going to be perfect, especially after everything that happened.

I gathered myself to be somewhat stable before I'd answered him. Though I hadn't cried, you could hear it coming in my slightly congested voice, "Yes?" I asked forgetting about the sad feeling that coursed through my fingers as I stroked my hand over my dress. The smoothness made me choke back tears.

I'd only now noticed that the car had slowed to a stop and we were parked in the parking lot of the labyrinth of a cemetary. They came on harder now, but once more I had choked them back. My hand reached over to the door handle, ready to pull it when he said what he'd had the urge to. The feeling of the door handle had become familiar now, because trips in this car were normal. Moving around all the time was normal; it was helping me to not feel so numb. Most of the time now-a-days the things that I did on a daily basis, seemed auto-programmed.

"You ready?" he asked softly and tenderly, that smooth as water voice echoing through my ears of a journey to get this message of a question to my brain.

Obviously that was a derogatory question. I was never going to be ready. Nobody should be ready for this. It was all backwards. There was a double meaning behind his question. He was trying to be civil towards _him_. This only made me more mad, because his timing was horrible. Couldn't he have done this a month ago? When we'd needed it? When everything could've been easily solved? He was never good with timing.

I didn't show my anger right now, because it wasn't the right time for that in any way. I sighed, my breathing shakey thanks the glob of tears that were held in the back of my throat threatening to show themselves to the world in any moment. They were like predators; waiting for the moment that their prey was weakest before they made their move.

I let his hand go, I couldn't take the warmth anymore, it was making my hand clammy. I nodded softly knowing my face didn't look that convincing, but at this point it didn't matter. I didn't have to be happy today -er, correction; I _shouldn't_ be happy today. It wasn't a happy day in the slightest.

What would I tell the parents? I'm sorry, it's my fault? It is, indefintely but I didn't want to say that.

On top of all this, from the inside of the car, I could see Dex. The black suit, the flowers. The tears were baring closer to penetration by the second as I watched him walk to the plot area where dozens of other people were standing. His gaze shifted, as his free hand was still in his pocket, to me in the car. He looked into my eyes for a moment, and it seemed like he was saying everything that I should've been apologizing for. If I hadn't felt like this was my fault before, I felt it now.

Oh, I felt it now. My eyes were burning, and my body felt like it was going to spontaneously combust, but once more I turned over to him and nodded as I got out of the car. He watched me from his seat for a moment before, getting out of his car, and hurrying over to my side. His dress pants, dark sneakers, and black thermal were okay for the occasion, but it didn't do anything for my mood, not that I expected it to. I don't think I'll ever get over this guilt.

There were people here that I'd never thought I'd see together. People who's hate was put on hold for this very day. From far off in the distance, I could hear the cries. _Her_ cries.

**The witch**.

My body froze as he flicked the car off, the lights turning off immediately for the safety of everyone here. His arm settled tightly around me, I didn't feel safe, I didn't feel good. At this point I wanted to run up to witch like an idiot and tell her to take me alive.

I wanted to let everyone here say whatever they wanted to me, because I wanted to be numb enough to block all of it out. I wanted to be lower than the dirt because that's what I deserved. It was everyone against everyone here, and all of them against me. But here we all stood together, mourning a casualty of war. Her cries rang in my ears and I realized her pain. She cried because of her fate, the way the tale played out for her. It wasn't fair, it wasn't logical.

But I couldn't say it wasn't real, because here we live;

_in a world at war._


End file.
